Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i think i have herpe
just one?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Boobs are out for the taking
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
