I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My dick has a subreddit
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
