Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i barfeds in our rink
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
