i think my tv is drunk
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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