Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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