gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
