imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
His nipple licking is glorious
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