Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
