Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
