well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Sober January is a disaster.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
