The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
