The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
