I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
