They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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