YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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