There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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