it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
