After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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