a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
