So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
