I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
