The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
