Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
