butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
