I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
