It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
