I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
