Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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