dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
