I skipped work to stalk him.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
