At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
