Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
