JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
