This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
