I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
People in love make me want to vomit
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We have started to decorate penises.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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