It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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