sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
