Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
