I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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