I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
