I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
