she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
