Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?

(410): View more from Maryland

Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women

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(813): View more from Florida

Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida

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(607): View more from New York

haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.

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(650): View more from California

i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.

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(310): View more from California

do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?

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(589): View more from

This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.

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(515): View more from Iowa

My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."

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(863): View more from Florida

Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.

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(813): View more from Florida

It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk

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