Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
