Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
