I think i sorta joined a cult last night
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
