If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
