1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
