R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
