she was so not down for the gang bang
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
